blanks in the memory bank

since my family friend introduced me to my family friend's setup, he's never really asked me what i thought bout him. okay well maybe that's not entirely true... he might have asked what i thought of my family friend's setup soon after my family friend introduced us. but it was too soon to really tell.

somehow yesterday during an IM conversation with my family friend, my family friend's setup was mentioned. that's when he asked...

family friend: what do you think of him anyways?
family friend: what's your impression after all this time?
jo: i think he's really easy to get along with and talk to
jo: nice guy
jo: he's a bit laidback though... and i can't even say if that's good or bad haha!
family friend: much better to be laidback than high strung
jo: well i like 'em laidback haha!
family friend: so you're comfortable with him on the whole?
jo: yeah i'm comfy with him
family friend: ok cool

now i have no idea why he suddenly asked. i mean it's probably nothing too big a deal right? but for some strange reason, i felt into a bit of self disclosure...

jo: honestly didn't expect to be that comfy with him as soon as i was. but he's just easy to get along with i suppose
family friend: yeah
family friend: he wormed his way right into my heart too
family friend: from about the first time i met him
jo: hahaha!
family friend: and you know how i am

so maybe it wasn't only me feeling 'chemistry'. maybe it's just part of my family friend's setup's natural charm. he can even 'charm' the boys. and granted my family friend isn't exactly the most tolerant person around.

jo: yeah well you know how i am
jo: i don't let people in that easily either
family friend: yeah
jo: i mean i'm pretty friendly in general and probably can talk to most people
jo: but for the most part i don't let anyone too close to my heart
jo: but when you get there, you're pretty hard to get out of my heart

and indeed that's true. this brought me back to the time where i first suddenly realised that i was starting to let my family friend's setup inside my heart. and how despite everything, it has been hard getting him out of my heart 'coz he already got in.

we may not have that raw physical chemistry that dj guy and i had. but there is still a certain amount of chemistry and attractiveness that i can live with. except that it still doesn't seem to be working out and he's only got until the end of the year before my new resolution means that he's gotta be yanked outta my heart...

****

and i'm certainly living up to what i said bout dredging up all the past boys...

last night i had a mid-week drinking session with 2 of my close ex-colleagues. it was a long time coming. we've been talking bout it for forever. even got down to planning a few times. but somehow or another, kept on cancelling. this time we actually managed to go.

we headed to our 'fave' place for mid-week drinking which incidentally is the place where i met the youngest one.

drinks with the girls was good. but then one by one their husbands came to pick 'em up. i then decided to check if the youngest one was gonna be in the club. he was. and so i hung out with him and his friends.

that's when it all gets fuzzy. i have some snippets of memory here and there but for the most part, seriously... i don't remember.

okay yes, i drank quite a bit. but it wasn't that much as to have bouts of memory blanks. i've drank as much before or even more and i still can remember. but this time i'm just blank.

since i woke up i've been trying to remember if anything happened between the youngest one and me. i'm quite sure we didn't kiss. i would like to think that i would remember if we did. but that said i believe we were a lil huggy. yes, when i drink i get a lil aggressive too.

so i texted the youngest one asking him to refresh my memory... hopefully i get some answers. but really all i wanna know is did we kiss??

[edit]

okay so i finally got my answer...

at first all the youngest one would say was that nothing much happened. but i decided that i had to know if we kissed so i just straight up asked him.

and yes. apparently i kissed him. and apparently it was more than just a peck. a bit more than a peck was how he put it. i wonder what that means.

but i can't believe that i don't remember. 'coz normally i definitely remember if i kissed someone. and it's a pity that i don't remember 'coz from what i remembered previously, the youngest one is a damn hot kisser. the only other person i've ever felt hotter kissing chemistry with is dj guy.

now i wonder how many times did i kiss him. and if i just bout totally jumped him in my tipsy state. oh man...

as i told him, if i don't remember, it doesn't count. i need a do-over!