blasting the past

before the days of cozy hole-in-the-wall bar, we used to frequent this other bar a fair bit. last night my party girl and i got invites from the bar manager (though i think he's since been promoted) to the christmas party held there. so my party girl, the yummy mommy and i decided to check it out.

it didn't turn out to be all that interesting... but it was great to meet up with some people we haven't seen in ages. the bar manager being one of 'em. i kinda used to have a small thing for him especially since that house party. speaking of which, the host of that house party was there last night as well. he still keeps telling me and his guy friends around that i'm hot. he's such a player. apparently he's planning another house party in mid jan to celebrate him moving outta that house. and then of 'coz there will be another house party in the new house. it seems like we're invited... oh well we'll see when we're actually invited... but his house parties are definitely fun... and well some of those guys are cute! that also includes the bar manager's cousin who seemed to be hitting on me a lil last night.

later we headed to cozy hole-in-the-wall bar. sadly that place is fast losing its appeal. the girl who has been taking over the bar has been pissing people off with her attitude. i mean we're all kinda friends but we also think that she needs to just loosen up. the bar is mostly frequented by regulars who have been going there regularly for years... much longer than she's even known bout the bar... everyone knows everyone and the owners as well. so the bar plays by different rules... as in there are none. it's beginning to look like soon we're gonna have to find another place to chill out at.

so we didn't stay long and headed off to a club i haven't been to in a while. we ran into a scottish friend who i haven't seen in ages. he was with his scottish guy friends and they were all in their kilts. that was too funny.

soon after we decided to head to another club... the club that dj guy is now working in... i admit that by that time we were all pretty fuelled up. and i know even though i told myself i didn't wanna subconsciously wanna go there to see him, i wound up doing exactly that.

we hugged and cheek kissed as usual. and even chatted briefly. but i also know there was something there. he didn't say it but i could feel it. it was in the way he looked at me. even my party girl said she felt it. there's still a part of him that still likes me. and well... we all know there's still a part of me (who am i trying to kid? a large part of me...) that likes him too.

so i'm fuelled on liquid courage and i told myself that i have to try again. so i did. i just bout threw myself at him in some tipsy texts. his reply was firm but not unkind. he says he's forgiven me but he can't forget 'coz things like that has happened to him too many times before. so i guess that's my final answer. can't blame a girl for trying. but i think it's time to gather whatever self respect i might actually still have left after the grovelling and just move on. afterall at the end of the day, we're still friends.

and i try and keep telling myself that i'm fabulous and that it's his loss anyway.