'coz really, there are other things going on too

i've been a lil too wrapped up in the swedish guy to really mention anything else in my lil quiet world of "dating" so no time like the present... heads up, it's a looong one.

****

since the first time the alpha game player and i met up, we've met up again for dinner. fast food. dutch as usual. and he's also been texting or calling me or asking me out. don't get too excited, afterall i'm not... i'm quite sure that somehow we've gone straight into the whole buddy thing. whatever, i suppose.

****

quite a few years ago my best friend and i signed up for speed dating. but due to a gender imbalance, it was cancelled. a month ago, a friend of mine and i signed up for a dinner "matchmaking" event. it was cancelled due to a gender imbalance.

seriously with 2 strikes, i'm not sure i'm cut out for this.

it was funny when recently that friend (who is a journalist) called me up with the intention of doing a valentine's day article on this and getting some quotes from me. i mean how did that happen? me being the "spokeswoman" for having tried to be proactive and put myself out there and having failed twice?

maybe the real reason for the gender imbalance is that there just isn't any men out there who are willing to try "matchmaking" events.

****

bodybuilder friend: hey there just wondering but will it always take months to see you one time?

omg! where the heck did that come from? what to respond? what to respond?!

jo: haha! nah... normally it shouldn't be that bad
bodybuilder friend: is it cause since we don't have common friends and if this continues, this is just getting a bit tiring...
jo: maybe bout the no common friends thing
jo: but mostly 'coz i'm really just busy or tired out

it's true. i've been busy. honestly. i mean work has been demanding a fair bit of my time lately and will only get worst for at least the next month. and with whatever free time i do have left, i have to prioritise. but i guess truth be told, he is low on the priority list.

bodybuilder friend: k no offence to you jo, if really you know we only gonna meet so rarely, just say so now...
bodybuilder friend: cause if it is so, to me it is just gonna be meet once every 3mths
bodybuilder friend: then once every year then sooner or later we gonna lose contact anyway and god knows i never gonna meet your friends and you not gonna want to meet mine

this is where i really started to think that he was being overly drama bout it all. given how busy everyone's schedule is, there are times where friends do meet once every 3 months. granted perhaps not close friends. but it's not like he and i are good friends.

and i don't care to let him meet my friends, nor am i even interested to meet his. in some ways my social life is sacred. i don't just let anyone meet my friends... and i mostly hang out with the girls anyway and it's so strange to bring a guy along especially when it's not like he means all that much to me.

from then on i just wanted the conversation to end. and so i quickly decided that it was time to sign outta IM...

and i'm definitely gonna think a few more times before even wanting to meet up with him again.

****

it was kinda strange the way the serious one essentially just invited himself to join me and some friends for dinner at my friend's house.

i mean it's not like we are good friends. i hardly know him. how can i when we only met once and any IM conversation really mostly just consisted of him saying hi, me replying with a hi and then him going quiet or offline or sending me youtube videos.

****

just when i thought i had lost my mojo... apparently i might still have some left. i went out with my party girl, the yummy mommy and some other mutual girlfriends to a latin club and i got picked up by this guy.

best part is that i didn't even realise that i was getting picked up until he took my hand and wanted to dance with me. i honestly thought that he wanted to lead me to where some of my other friends 'coz i had been looking out into the dance floor hoping to find 'em.

i stupidly exchanged numbers with him and he's called twice since. i missed the first call on purpose but picked up the second one while in the midst of a family dinner and used that as an excuse.

i'm just glad that he's only in town for a few days...

****

there's this local programme on tv where they feature local bands. recently i saw the trailers and i'll be damned but that's drummer boy's band being featured!

i couldn't see him too well in the trailers but there was one unmistakable shot of the whole group and he was laughing.

i remember the laugh. the way he looked. i loved it when he laughed or was being cheeky. that just opened a floodgate of emotions for me all over again.

truth is, i haven't really gotten over him yet. i mean i know why it probably won't work and i do really like the swedish guy and all that, but a part of me still wants drummer boy. it's crazy 'coz we haven't met in bout 5 months and even before that we were only "together" for bout 2 months. it doesn't make sense that i should still feel this way. then again i suppose emotions doesn't always make sense.

and 'coz i have to set myself up like that sometimes, naturally i watched that episode of the local tv programme. i've never seen him play before... he was looking kinda serious as he was working the drumset. later when the host interviewed the lead singer, i reckon that drummer boy's brother (who is the bassist) must have been saying funny things 'coz drummer boy was just cracking up.

he's definitely looking good. and i couldn't help but feel a lil stabbing pain in my heart as it hit me once again that i'm never gonna see his face close to mine again or his arms wrapped around me in a warm embrace again. it was definitely hard.

****

the swedish guy and i haven't contacted since saturday... and i'm wondering if i should contact him 'coz we talked bout heading out in the daytime on saturday.

and yes, incidentally it is valentine's day. if i do meet him, i'm breaking all my usual rules of not going out with a guy (who isn't my boyfriend) on valentine's day. but it was just a lot more casual than that. no big deal. i'm not even sure if it's considered to be any kinda deal. afterall it was more like a "hey let's do this and that and oh hey we're free on saturday and oh look what do you know, it's valentine's day" kinda thing.

besides he's meeting up with his friends for some singles party at night and it's not like he invited me along.

so yeah... i'm not sure if i should try and ask if we're still on for saturday...

****

other than that, there isn't a whole lot going on...