this is where we've been and look where we're going

it's amazing how time flies. this blog has been home to my thoughts on dating and relationships for the last 4 over years. and it's grown to become a special and important part of my life which i hide from everyone else in my "real" life.

recently i've been reading through my past entries, looking back on where i've been, how far i've come and it's been an interesting walk down memory lane. some random guys i could hardly remember, others who i wondered what on earth came over me to be so smitten with them, and a few that back then took a shine to me.

but i suppose for the most part, there's no real loss. the guys themselves have moved on. most vanished completely from my life, a select few who i still "keep in touch" with (or at least i still could if either of us wanted to) as technically they are still on my IM or online social utility site friend list, and some others who i make a point to know what's going on in their lives even if they don't always know it (yes, i "stalk" haha!).

it was in mid-walk of this memory lane that i decided to try and hunt down past people that i "dated" randomly, basically the boys that i've mentioned here in the last 4 years. some of them i already pretty much knew where they were at now but others weren't on my friends list (and even after hunting them down, i still wasn't intending to add them) and i thought it would be interesting to try and see if i could even find any information on them.

and here are the results of my find:

dj guy - i may not have seen or talked to him in at least over a year and even back then he was already engaged. but from my own nosy sleuthing i know that he's since broken up with his fiancee and has a new girlfriend.

london guy friend - he's on my friends list which have led me to find out that his (i think) german girlfriend gave birth to their son in february. they got married a month later. seems like the wedding must have been quite a surprise to even his friends.

texas curly - based on our last email "communication" in january, he told me that he got married in april 2008. he's also since started a tailor shop making custom made suits. a lil research (it's not really considered snooping if he gave me his company name to begin with haha!) showed that he came in second place in a new entrepreneur of the year award and made me even more impressed. i also found him on the online social utility site and couldn't see much other than his profile pic of a fun picture with him and his gorgeous wife. did i mention that she's gorgeous? i thought for a very long time (and trust me, i really did) and in the end decided to add him to my friends list... and hope he never really wonders how on earth i found him online...

marvy's setup - i found him on the online social utility site and couldn't see much other than his profile pic. he's looking good though (to be fair, he always looked better in pictures than in real life) and also looks like he's happily attached / married. i'm not sure if she's the "love of his life" from china that he met right after he got set up with me.

(now ex) key account executive - i keep in touch with him on IM every now and then when he signs in. bout a couple of years ago he had a kid but is still continuing to battle marital woes.

the aussie podiatrist - i couldn't find him on the online social utility site and for some reason, i was determined enough to dig up something that i googled him. i didn't realise that he's been responsible for giving the expert's opinion on certain podiatry related press releases. i found out that his (now not so) new workplace is actually rather close to mine. there was also a picture of him. he's not looking as good as before... i think he's balding.

family friend's setup - i'm still in contact with the friend who set us up and very occasionally i drop an IM to say hey to my family friend's setup (in fact just after writing bout him, i dropped him another IM). but from our friend, i found out that he has a slightly on/off girlfriend. our friend doesn't even know what's going on. sometimes it's good, then it's off, then it's on again. apparently she's a great girl though.

the french banterer - i found him on the online social utility site and was surprised that we have 2 mutual friends (though i only really consider one of those girls my friends. i'm pretty sure he knows her through work.) i browsed through a few of his photos. somehow he looks different or maybe i just can't recognise him anymore. i'm unsure bout his relationship status though.

poet guy - i found him on the online social utility site and was surprised that we have a mutual friend... incidentally it was my uni classmate that i "dated" who since got married to our uni classmate. i couldn't see much other than his profile pic but he looks like he's happily attached / married.

chatty triathlete - i found him on the online social utility site, and as expected, we have a mutual friend in the form of my friend's (who was formerly based in dubai who subsequently became my colleague) husband. and as i heard, i saw evidence in photos that he got married in dec 2009, a year after he got together with her. he doesn't look too bad but i'm still definitely way cuter than her.

the serious one - not that he's important but i've been running into him recently near wherer i work in town. in any case, he's on my friend's list and it was there that i learnt that he's engaged. i think she works near my workplace.

drummer boy - the only one who i'm actually quite in touch with over IM. and well i already mentioned that he's thinking of getting married in 3-5 years time.

the swedish guy - the last time i saw him was in december 2009. that said, i do think bout him every now and then. he's on my friends list and ever so often i'd see a status update stating that he was off to another one of his short holidays. i still think that's the main reason why we didn't get more serious. he claimed that he was ready for a girlfriend, but his lifestyle showed otherwise.

i guess the main theme is that almost everyone that i "dated" in the last 4 years is now coupled up be it married, engaged or just attached. it's good to know that i didn't remain completely single either.

this has definitely been one very interesting nostalgic walk.

and that's why...

dj guy and the other girl have officially broadcasted their relationship status via the online social utility site. the first comment was from a mutual friend (incidentally she's the girlfriend of dj guy's best friend who i also know) saying "is that news?". i echo the new girlfriend's comment "hahaha... not really right.." 'coz yes, we all knew, nevermind that i wasn't actually told... but that's why i make a good sherlock holmes.

and i also know just why texas curly and i could never keep in touch. 'coz he never really tries to keep in touch. after that lone email i received from him over 3 weeks ago that i replied to, i never got a reply.

the one i like to think got away probably 'coz he was away

after my previous post, i was advised by dater at large to be prepared for the "potential feelings that might come creeping in". at that time i was perhaps a lil naive enough to believe that it wouldn't happen. afterall i hadn't seen or contaced texas curly in years. and he lived so far away from me that it just didn't seem possible that logically i would even think anything more than a long distance friendship was possible.

but i suppose i underestimated the effect he used to have on me and the true potential i used to think he had such that time and distance never quite helped me forget entirely. afterall i've always thought that if he and i were in the same place long enough, we would definitely get along well and at least be rather close friends.

so i emailed him on monday and then amazingly just bout forgot bout it entirely as i didn't give it a second thought. i only checked my email 2 days later and was surprised by a prompt response from him.

that was when i felt the first tinge of feeling. i read on...

sounds like he's doing well... and he got married in april of 2008.

that's when i came back down.

even though i've never actually thought of him in a long while, when i do, i always think of him very fondly. and even though i never actually thought that anything would happen, i'm almost a lil wistful that nothing ever did. but i've always wanted to keep in touch with him anyway...

so of 'coz i replied to him.

let's play true confessions

i love the alpha boy, really i do. but i also acknowledge that there are heaps of things that i recognise are undesirable bout him. what makes it even harder is his very strong personality. without going into too much detail, there are things that do make me unsure bout him and there are times where i'm not even sure if i can deal with this in the long run.

it's in those times that i find myself thinking of the swedish guy and sometimes "wishing" and wondering what it would have been like if he showed more interest. and recently texas curly popped in my mind. that in itself is quite rare as i met him at least 5 years ago and haven't seen him since and haven't kept in contact with him since 4 years ago. but when i do think of him, i always think of him fondly.

i think i should contact him to find out what he's up to and which part of the world he might be. if nothing, i really do like him as a friend.

and yes, i still love the alpha boy even though sometimes he scares me and drives me up the wall.

the original texan intern

for the last 2 years, my company has been hiring interns from a certain college in texas to work for a month during the summer hols. traditionally (if you can call 2 consecutive years a tradition) my company has one intern based in my remote office while the other interns are based in the downtown office. which probably means that the one intern in this office pretty much has the added stress of having to get to know other employees or else possibly face lunch alone with no one to talk to... okay so we're not really that mean... but you get my drift...

those who have been following this blog would have read bout texas tall, the lone intern based in my remote office. but in fact, there was another intern before texas tall (and before this blog was even started). the intern last summer was texas curly.

texas curly was helping out my colleague who incidentally i'm pretty close to. one day she assigned me with the task of making sure that he didn't get lost while taking the bus to the train station. i gladly took up that task. afterall if you've seen texas curly you'd know that he's a real cutie. tall with dark blond curls, blue eyes and a killer smile. cute enough that his identical twin brother is a small-time model/actor. anyhow texas curly even has the personality to match with his looks. right from the start we got along fabulously. talking, joking and laughing throughout. and from then he would pop by my workspace for a lil chat or to ask if i wanted to head out of the office together. my previous boss man saw all of that and used to tease me that texas curly was too young for me. he's 3 years younger. but hey usually i wind up liking younger guys. it's in my genes that's what i say... my mom is 2 years older than my dad. texas curly and i even took our friendship out of the office. we met up a couple of times. in the office he gave me high-fives. out of the office he gave me hugs.

so why would i be bringing all of this up right now?

well since seeing the new intern texas tall, i've been reminded of texas curly. in addition, his birthday is less than a week's away from mine. we have been keeping in touch on/off since he left a year ago. more off than on 'coz he hates technology. but recently we've been emailing a lot more. he's leaving soon to work in china for a year and after that he said that he'll be touring around with some friends and is intending to visit me somewhere along the way. he even suggested that i could take some vacation days and go on a short trip with him. i can't wait to see him. i've always thought that if he and i were in the same place for long enough, we would definitely get along so well. he's just an all round great guy and we even share the same views on important matters. plus he's a cutie. what's there not to like?