this is where we've been and look where we're going

it's amazing how time flies. this blog has been home to my thoughts on dating and relationships for the last 4 over years. and it's grown to become a special and important part of my life which i hide from everyone else in my "real" life.

recently i've been reading through my past entries, looking back on where i've been, how far i've come and it's been an interesting walk down memory lane. some random guys i could hardly remember, others who i wondered what on earth came over me to be so smitten with them, and a few that back then took a shine to me.

but i suppose for the most part, there's no real loss. the guys themselves have moved on. most vanished completely from my life, a select few who i still "keep in touch" with (or at least i still could if either of us wanted to) as technically they are still on my IM or online social utility site friend list, and some others who i make a point to know what's going on in their lives even if they don't always know it (yes, i "stalk" haha!).

it was in mid-walk of this memory lane that i decided to try and hunt down past people that i "dated" randomly, basically the boys that i've mentioned here in the last 4 years. some of them i already pretty much knew where they were at now but others weren't on my friends list (and even after hunting them down, i still wasn't intending to add them) and i thought it would be interesting to try and see if i could even find any information on them.

and here are the results of my find:

dj guy - i may not have seen or talked to him in at least over a year and even back then he was already engaged. but from my own nosy sleuthing i know that he's since broken up with his fiancee and has a new girlfriend.

london guy friend - he's on my friends list which have led me to find out that his (i think) german girlfriend gave birth to their son in february. they got married a month later. seems like the wedding must have been quite a surprise to even his friends.

texas curly - based on our last email "communication" in january, he told me that he got married in april 2008. he's also since started a tailor shop making custom made suits. a lil research (it's not really considered snooping if he gave me his company name to begin with haha!) showed that he came in second place in a new entrepreneur of the year award and made me even more impressed. i also found him on the online social utility site and couldn't see much other than his profile pic of a fun picture with him and his gorgeous wife. did i mention that she's gorgeous? i thought for a very long time (and trust me, i really did) and in the end decided to add him to my friends list... and hope he never really wonders how on earth i found him online...

marvy's setup - i found him on the online social utility site and couldn't see much other than his profile pic. he's looking good though (to be fair, he always looked better in pictures than in real life) and also looks like he's happily attached / married. i'm not sure if she's the "love of his life" from china that he met right after he got set up with me.

(now ex) key account executive - i keep in touch with him on IM every now and then when he signs in. bout a couple of years ago he had a kid but is still continuing to battle marital woes.

the aussie podiatrist - i couldn't find him on the online social utility site and for some reason, i was determined enough to dig up something that i googled him. i didn't realise that he's been responsible for giving the expert's opinion on certain podiatry related press releases. i found out that his (now not so) new workplace is actually rather close to mine. there was also a picture of him. he's not looking as good as before... i think he's balding.

family friend's setup - i'm still in contact with the friend who set us up and very occasionally i drop an IM to say hey to my family friend's setup (in fact just after writing bout him, i dropped him another IM). but from our friend, i found out that he has a slightly on/off girlfriend. our friend doesn't even know what's going on. sometimes it's good, then it's off, then it's on again. apparently she's a great girl though.

the french banterer - i found him on the online social utility site and was surprised that we have 2 mutual friends (though i only really consider one of those girls my friends. i'm pretty sure he knows her through work.) i browsed through a few of his photos. somehow he looks different or maybe i just can't recognise him anymore. i'm unsure bout his relationship status though.

poet guy - i found him on the online social utility site and was surprised that we have a mutual friend... incidentally it was my uni classmate that i "dated" who since got married to our uni classmate. i couldn't see much other than his profile pic but he looks like he's happily attached / married.

chatty triathlete - i found him on the online social utility site, and as expected, we have a mutual friend in the form of my friend's (who was formerly based in dubai who subsequently became my colleague) husband. and as i heard, i saw evidence in photos that he got married in dec 2009, a year after he got together with her. he doesn't look too bad but i'm still definitely way cuter than her.

the serious one - not that he's important but i've been running into him recently near wherer i work in town. in any case, he's on my friend's list and it was there that i learnt that he's engaged. i think she works near my workplace.

drummer boy - the only one who i'm actually quite in touch with over IM. and well i already mentioned that he's thinking of getting married in 3-5 years time.

the swedish guy - the last time i saw him was in december 2009. that said, i do think bout him every now and then. he's on my friends list and ever so often i'd see a status update stating that he was off to another one of his short holidays. i still think that's the main reason why we didn't get more serious. he claimed that he was ready for a girlfriend, but his lifestyle showed otherwise.

i guess the main theme is that almost everyone that i "dated" in the last 4 years is now coupled up be it married, engaged or just attached. it's good to know that i didn't remain completely single either.

this has definitely been one very interesting nostalgic walk.

the shortest potential setup ever

so marvy the martian's first setup didn't go all that well. not that we didn't get along great. but i don't count marvy's setup finding a girlfriend soon after our meeting up and hence failing to follow up on what he said bout us meeting up again soon as going well.

however apparently marvy the martian isn't one to give up all that easily. this morning, the guy was trying to set me up with another friend of his.

jo: have you told him anything??
marvy the martian: not yet
marvy the martian: but recently he and i talked about this subject
marvy the martian: bout him and he finding a gf
marvy the martian: so that's why i think he'll be open to the idea of introductions
jo: you're really into this whole matchmaking thing aren't ya? haha!
marvy the martian: hehehehe not for everyone
marvy the martian: there are other girls that are single but i won't matchmake for them
marvy the martian: i only matchmake the hotcakes and the good stuff
marvy the martian: deal in high end products
marvy the martian: luxury goods ;)
jo: i'm a hotcake? hahahaha!
jo: thanks i suppose haha!
marvy the martian: surprisingly untaken hotcake
marvy the martian: i think you're a hotcake :)
marvy the martian: so i'm gonna tell him bout you

i guess it's nice to know that some of my friends are so concerned bout my single status that even though he is far far away in china, he's still thinking of single guys nearby to introduce to me. but marvy the martian won't be around to actually introduce us and he doesn't even have a picture of the potential setup. so i wasn't entirely sure how was that going to work.

and somehow i couldn't seem to entirely shake off the remembrance that so far any guy a friend has tried to set me up with has gone on to find a girlfriend very soon after we've been set up.

by the afternoon my misgivings proved to be spot on.

marvy the martian: oh that friend i was telling you bout. i shan't intro you 2 cos he has some interest in some uni girl. their outcome isn't settled and things are murky but i shan't put in another factor in his equation
marvy the martian: best to let nature take its course for him
jo: hahahaha!

i had to laugh.

if marvy the martian's friend and that girl does indeed work out, i'll laugh even more. that will just be yet another statistic that anyone my friend wants to set me up with will find someone soon after. he doesn't even need to actually meet me first. just the thought of a setup with me will be sufficient. and that takes it to a whole new level.

the pros and cons of proactiveness

so 2 months after our setup and 1.5 months since i last talked to marvy's setup, i finally get to know the aftermath of the setup... from marvy the martian.

marvy the martian: i just found out that *insert marvy's setup's real name* got attached to some girl
marvy the martian: but don't tell him i told you
marvy the martian: although maybe you already know
jo: i think i sorta know already
jo: i haven't talked to him in a while but the last time i did he did say that he was really into this girl. i don't know who she is or whatever though
marvy the martian: ooo
marvy the martian: that's where the martian can fill you in with details
marvy the martian: juicy details
jo: ahh please do...

gotta love a friend who would provide me details...

marvy the martian: it seems china girls are taking over the market
marvy the martian: she's a girl from china
marvy the martian: studying part time phd
marvy the martian: a friend introduced her to him a few months back too
jo: oh i had this feeling that she was a china girl
jo: he never actually said it but i just had this feeling haha!
marvy the martian: anyways they are taking over the market man

he should know. afterall he himself married a china girl who recently gave birth to their first child.

marvy the martian: they seem to be hitting it fast
marvy the martian: he's gonna go visit her parents in china for chinese new year
jo: whoa! hahaha!
jo: sounds like he's going to ask for her hand in marriage or something
marvy the martian: china people are everywhere
marvy the martian: you gotta catch opportunities
marvy the martian: cos other girls are catching them it seems
marvy the martian: go for it
marvy the martain: not be too laidback

and then we launch into one of our relationship talk conversations. i don't mind that. i've always loved talking bout such stuff with him. but this is what i mind in that sense...

marvy the martian: you can be more proactive

here's my problem with the whole proactive thing. and i'm sure that here will be as many women out there who agree as those who disagree with me...

i can understand the concept of dropping hints. while i may not necessarily be dropping bombs of hints, i'm sure that when i like someone it's very easy to tell that i don't dislike him. my point is that if the guy doesn't seem to be getting the hints, maybe it's just 'coz he's choosing not to get it. he doesn't want to acknowledge anything 'coz he doesn't feel the same. if a guy were into a girl in the first place, he'd be looking for signs. any sign. like i said before, i'm positive that if the guy likes a girl enough, he would make the first move. doesn't quite matter if the girl isn't exactly laying it right out there for him.

so marvy the martian cites an example of a short business trip to vietnam where this pretty vietnamese girl came onto him but he didn't take the bait since he had a girlfriend at that time (who has since become his wifey and mother of his daughter). i however countered that if he were single, he would have made an effort to get to know the vietnamese girl better even before she came onto him 'coz he did find her attractive. and he admitted that that was a possibility.

which proves my point even though i don't think he quite got it. yes, some girls might be easier to get 'coz they're more pushy and make their affections more obvious. and some guys will go for it 'coz they're lazy. there's just a ready and willing girl. but it doesn't mean that the guy likes the girl enough. it could be more of a "why chase when i can get a lot of other booty that's easier" kinda mentality. why would i even want a guy like that? a lot of times it's just for a fling. if i just wanted a fling, i probably could have had lots. but i'm looking for someone who likes me as much as i like him. the kind that is for forever. i think that if it's the right person, it will just happen and fall into place naturally. while i feel that you have to put in effort and work at a relationship, you shouldn't have to work that hard.

i guess all these thoughts put me right back at the same place i started from...

if you want a girlfriend...

... get your friend to set you up with me...

not that i'll become your girlfriend... but once your friend tries to set you up with me, soon after you'll find yourself a girlfriend... another girl. not me.

yes, this has so far been tried and tested.

my oldest school friend tried to set biker tech guy and me up. he now has a girlfriend.

my good friend and her boyfriend tried to match her boyfriend's cousin with me. he now has a girlfriend.

marvy the martian tried to introduce his friend marvy's setup to me. he has now met a girl who he's totally in love with. which by the way was the reason that i suspected why he never did contact me since.

and they claim that friends of friends is the best way to meet someone. well apparently not in my case.

setups and blind dates

notcarrie's post inspired me to tell my tale of setups and blind dates.

in my lifetime i've had the opportunity to be set up a few times by a few different friends. some of 'em were casual group hangs, some seemed forced and others were more of a real blind date kinda thing.


first setup
age: 19
the guy: he was my friend's guy interest's friend. same age. very tall, lanky and kinda cute. seemed shy. generally quite a nice guy.
background basics: it was essentially a double date. my friend's guy interest had invited her to an event where he needed a date. his friend didn't have a date. my friend suggested me. i was young, single and game for some fun. my friend and i talked for weeks bout what to wear in line with the hawaiian theme and she came over my house to dress up and make up before the event.
setup story: it's been so long ago so some parts are kinda sketchy. i just remember that the guys were really gentlemanly. i think the whole event was to show off these gentlemanly skills and prove that the organisers had successfully converted these boys into men. my date pulled the chair for me and even helped me line up for food in the buffet line. how he knew what i liked or didn't like to eat was beyond me. all in all i think it went really well considering that it was my first blind date and i was pretty nervous. i think i even developed a small lil crush on him.
aftermath: i had hoped that perhaps we would be able to get together again but that didn't happen. a year or so later, i realised that he's in the same lecture group as a good friend of mine. i had crashed her medical lecture group and saw him there. he remembered me and smiled. i can't remember if any actual words were exchanged. if they were, it certainly wasn't eventful. he wasn't as cute as before. seems like medical school had caused him to be even lankier.


second setup
age: 20
the guy: he was my cousin's church friend. 30s, plumpish and nerdy. i didn't even notice him.
background basics: my cousin thought that her friend is a really nice guy... except that he's somehow always managed to like the unattainable girls... the girls who were already married or had boyfriends. they were in the process of helping him revamping his image... changing his glasses and dressing style. they probably thought a new girl would be good too.
setup story: my cousin sometimes holds these christmas parties at her house and our entire family is invited along with some of her church friends. at the party i was actually more preoccupied with feeding myself than scoping out the guys. anyway they're mostly all too old and unattractive to me. on hindsight, i realised that my cousin did in fact introduce the setup guy to me but i didn't think too much of it then. and he was so shy that he never really talked to me either. i didn't really notice him which is not a good sign... but i did notice one rather cute guy who looked bout my age. nothing happened. i mean my entire family is there!
aftermath: a few years later he got married to another girl in my cousin's church and they now have 2 kids. i've seen his wifey. she's pretty cute. him not so much. but i guess that makeover worked out somehow.


third setup
age: 25
the guy: to be honest i wasn't entirely sure who was the intended setup until much later. 30s, not much impression of him except that he definitely worked out a fair bit. he seemed nice though maybe a bit quiet.
background basics: my mom has a friend in his 30s who is really cool and that i get along with. per usual my mom would sometimes ask her friends if they know anyone to set me up with (yeah thanks mom!) and this friend of hers decided to invite me for a group hang at his house.
setup story: i don't rememeber the group there much 'coz there were so many of 'em and i was the newbie struggling to remember names and be social. but it was fun. i think i wound up being more attracted to another guy than the original one that my friend wanted to set me up with.
aftermath: i had hoped that my friend would invite me along for more group hangs but he didn't. then again most of the time when they hang out it's to do something extreme like night cycling, triathalons and whatnot. i don't cycle.


fourth setup
age: 25
the guy: he was my good friend's boyfriend's (now he's her fiance) cousin. 30s, rather successful investment banker. on the short side with a strange swagger type of walk. not cute and worst of all... boring!
background basics: my friend and her boyfriend were thinking of who to set me up with when they decided upon his cousin. apparently he was tired of all the skanky girls in his office and wanted to meet someone who wasn't like that.
setup story: we went on a double date to a place for dinner and drinks. right off i was not attracted to him at all. but i still played nice. we chatted a lil bit but i found him incredibly boring. seriously everytime he started talking, i wanted to zone out. oh why couldn't he have gotten the good genes that my friend's boyfriend so obviously got. i think in the end i wound up chatting with my friend more. our plans got cut short 'coz my friend's boyfriend had to rush off last minute to help out a friend in trouble. of 'coz my friend had to drive him there. the cousin declares that he has some friends who have asked him out for drinks. the polite thing would probably have been to extend an invitation for me to join him. actually the more polite thing would have been to suggest that we could just stay on for drinks since we were just bout to order before all plans changed. but the cousin did neither. not exactly the best impression to make. i guess he wasn't bowled over by me either.
aftermath: i kept seeing him around... walking down the street, in the pub... but he never saw me. or if he did, definitely didn't bother to catch my eye in acknowledgement of our bad blind date. apparently according to my friend, he's got a girlfriend now. great. now he can go bore someone else.


fifth setup
age: 25
the guy: to be honest i wasn't entirely sure who was the intended setup until much later. pics aren't always very telling. in his 30s. he was rather quiet but was nice enough to drive me back.
background basics: my ex colleague had long been trying to get me to hang out with her group of friends. she would bring pics to the office to show me. one day i just decided to go for it.
setup story: we all went for a very casual dinner and then for some ice-cream. as with groups, one meeting is hardly enough for me to remember everyone's names or have much impression on 'em. but it was pretty fun. at the end of the night, the setup guy drove me back since he was going my way. we chatted a bit 'coz it's just 2 of us in the car and we have to chat or else it makes for a really awkward and silent car ride. he's pretty nice though i'm probably waay too chatty for him.
aftermath: my ex colleague resigned from the company and i haven't kept in touch with her since. hmm... i think i should go check in with her to see how she's doing...


sixth setup
age: 26
the guy: he was my oldest school friend's then boyfriend's old school friend. around my age. tall, lanky and not particularly attractive to me. seems nice but i think we would have communication problems.
background basics: for some strange reason my oldest school friend kept pushing for me to meet him. in the end she just decided to invite him along for one of our meeting ups.
setup story: my oldest school friend and i met up first since he could only make it later after work. it was weird 'coz basically she made the poor guy walk in the middle of us. and she kept pushing us together like to buy our food or something. he was nice and all but i think we just didn't really click. in fact she was talking to him most of the time. complaining bout her then boyfriend. they were having some problems.
aftermath: never seen or heard of ever since. i'm not even sure if my oldest school friend is still in touch with him. it's gotta be a bit tricky when he's the friend of her ex... and the ex that she thinks is such a loser...


seventh setup
age: 26
the guy: he's marvy the martian's old friend from his former french class. 1-2 years younger than me. tall, lanky and kinda cute with a cheeky yet shy look. nice and very easy to talk to.
background basics: marvy the martian kinda just sprung the setup on me. i'm not sure if it can really be officially called a setup 'coz he only told both of us bout the other and the rest was left to us.
setup story: the first 'blind date' setup i ever had where the person who introduced us wasn't even there and we had to organise it ourselves. but i had a great time.
aftermath: it's still too early to say though he did text and IM me a few times after our meeting up.

and here ends my tale of setups and blind dates to date... maybe there will be more... i don't know... as long as i remain single and there are well-meaning friends and family, i suspect there might be more to come...

marvy's setup

i wanted to be early... partly 'coz it's the polite thing to do and partly 'coz i thought if it was better that he looked for me, rather than i looked for him especially since we haven't met before.
but on my way walking to our meeting place, i ran into a swedish hairstylist guy that i know. i've run into him numerous times before but it was never convenient for us to talk. however this time i stopped for a lil chat. which made me a tad late.

when i got there, i recognised him instantly. no problems there. that was definitely marvy's setup.

i had a really great time. right away we just talked on and on, covering so many various topics. i think i found out more bout him in the first meeting than i normally do with other guys in years. it was exactly like our messages and IM chats... very natural and comfy. and i just felt like we were pretty open with each other.

we walked around for a bit, sat down for a sushi dinner and then went to starbucks for a drink before he drove me home. he told me that he'd call me soon. and later he texted me saying that he had a great time and that we'll meet again.

i sure wouldn't mind meeting him again... but i wonder if the next time we meet, will we have anything left to say to each other that we didn't already cover?

****

my dad found the need to call me to tell me that he saw prick04 and another girl in town during lunch. he didn't see my dad though. gosh i really don't care to know at all. he can be alone, he can be with a girl, he can be with all the girls in the world and i still don't care. my dad wondered if the girl is his sister. how would i know? and more importantly why would i even care. then my dad asked me to call prick04 and tease him that my dad saw him. heck no! in fact i've long deleted his number. and i told my dad just that. my dad didn't ask me what happened... and i hope he never does 'coz he really doesn't need to know...

gosh prick04 really needs to stop running into me or any of my family members and friends...

surprise me

the guy marvy the martian wanted to introduce to me is continuing to surprise me...

not that i think that marvy the martian wouldn't want to introduce to me a nice friend of his to me. afterall we're friends. but i guess first of all, i didn't expect to find his friend kinda cute. though that still maintains to be proven... a picture may tell a thousand words, but doesn't mean that all of 'em are true... secondly, i really didn't expect myself to feel that comfy talking to him.

marvy's setup decided to make the first move. he requested to be friends with me on a particular network. and then he sent me a friendly message. we messaged back and forth for a bit and i was surprised at how the messages seemed friendly and natural. there was kinda a genuine interest in knowing more bout each other. he then gave me his number and suggested meeting up... but no pressure. which i liked that. all to often i feel the pressure of the guy wanting to meet up when i haven't even sussed out what kind of vibe i was getting.

well i liked the vibe. it was a good vibe. so i gave him my number and told him to add me on IM.

our IM chat surprised me. i expected perhaps a certain level of awkwardness but there was none at all. we just got along really easily. i didn't feel like i had to think of something to say next. conversation just flowed naturally. before we logged off, he suggested meeting up again. i told him sure and to let me know.

well he did let me know... in fact we're supposed to meet up tomorrow. wow! 2 'dates' with 2 different guys on 2 consecutive days. we'll see what happens...

****

so i asked out of office eye candy to my friend's single party like i said i would. i think this would be the first time i actually asked him 'out' in a more social capacity. we texted each other back and forth for a bit before he called me 'coz he was driving. he likes to talk on the phone when he's driving. turns out that he may not be able to make it 'coz he has a church event. anyhow it was a nice conversation. which was very unfortunately cut short 'coz my phone battery died! what bad timing. oh well... at least we got to chat. there's something bout both of us being out of the office and chatting on the phone that makes it seem more friendly. and i guess even if he doesn't make for the party, at least i let him know that i'm open to the idea of us hanging out outside of work. i really do want to be friends with him. i mean we're already pretty friendly in the workplace despite not being in the same office. but colleagues who meet socially is a different level entirely.

i'll be inviting my london guy friend to the party on friday as well when i meet him tonight. well my friend told me to bring the studs so i'm trying haha!

checking out the potential setup

curiosity got the better of me...

i checked out the guy that marvy the martian wanted to introduce to me.

dang, i can't believe it... i actually find him kinda cute...

then again pictures don't always reflect real life. but at least it's something...

he's a caucasian / asian guy with a nice height though perhaps a lil too lanky for my usual 'type'. but i thought that he looked cheeky and shy in that pic where he stuck out his tongue. apparently he is kinda shy. and yes, usually i like the shy guys. not really a good thing since shy guys can be so passive.

he might have a sense of humour as well 'coz i had to laugh when i saw that he had swapped his face with orlando bloom as legolas. he kinda does look like orlando bloom. i've never really found orlando bloom cute. though i think long blonde hair and pointy ears suit him. he's destined to be an elf.

of 'coz i couldn't wait till the next time i saw marvy the martian online...

jo: so hey i checked out your friend haha!
marvy the martian: and?
jo: not bad...
jo: looks really shy haha!
marvy the martian: hehehe
marvy the martian: you want his IM?
marvy the martian: he's online now!
marvy the martian: yay!
jo: hahaha! no no...
jo: i just wanted to tell you that's all haha!
marvy the martian: i'll give you his IM
jo: i'm not going to be adding him... that's just weird
marvy the martian: well i could ask him to add you!
marvy the martian: hee
jo: dude does he even know bout me?
jo: it's probably gonna make a shy guy like him really nervous haha!

i appreciate marvy the martian trying his best to set me up. but no way am i gonna be the one to make the first move. if he were back home and wanted to organise a lil casual group hang which just so happens to include me and the other guy... that i'm cool with.

the guy friends over yonder

in the past few years i've realised that most of my close friends are overseas. some of 'em moved overseas, some are going to move overseas, others were overseas all along.

so my london guy friend is here. but so far all we've done is chat on IM twice. it's almost like he's still back in london. not much of a difference. and it wouldn't be for this entire week 'coz he's busy with his bro, his family, his friends, his whoever-knows-what. he got a temporary phone line... which he gave me over IM of 'coz... what were you thinking? he'd call? maybe... he did the last time he was here in feb... but not this time.

do i sound bitter? actually i'm not really. a lil disappointed perhaps. but of 'coz being me, i rationalise that he really is busy. and i understand that. i think i just psyched myself up too much for the hype of him being here. when really after i've calmed down, while it's cool, it's not that big of a deal. especially if he's not as excited as i am. the 'good thing' is that all this is quickly reminding me once again how i should curb my feelings and leave 'em at the door. i really shouldn't get emotionally involved in any way unless i'm sure it's being reciprocated. or else i'm just simply setting myself up for disappointment. sabotaging myself with my expectations. oh yes, there are rules to live by...

it's ironic that my mom keeps telling me to make time for him out of my usually busy social life and personal me time 'coz he was so nice and hospitable when we were in london, and yet he's the one who's too busy to meet up. he'll find me when he can make it... for now i'm gonna go bout my own usually busy social life and personal me time. i'm hoping that eventually (meaning next week) we will get to meet up. and hopefully we will meet up more than just once.

****

bright and early this morning, the minute i logged into my work computer, marvy the martian my guy friend based in china IMed me.

marvy the martian: good morning mojo
jo: morning marvy
marvy the martian: i tried to introduce a guy for you yesterday
marvy the martian: hehe
jo: what? haha!
marvy the martian: yeah then i realised he's younger than you
marvy the maritan: well you're okay with younger guys right? haha!
jo: i don't have a problem with younger guys... but who on earth is he?
marvy the martian: a friend of mine
marvy the martian: we were classmates in french class before
jo: but what's he like anyway? why are you trying to set me up with him?
marvy the martian: well i think he's a nice guy
marvy the martian: single and eligible
marvy the martian: so i thought it'll be cool if you and him could get together

okay well i'm not opposed to setups per se but i kinda like to think there's more of a thought process going on when a friend tries to set me up with a guy. it's gotta be more than just a you're single, he's single, so therefore i think you guys should meet kinda thing.

marvy the martian: maybe you can call him
marvy the martian: ask him for dinner and a movie
marvy the martian: girls can do that these days
jo: hahaha! you should know me better... i don't do that

and indeed i don't. it's not my thing. at least not for the first 'date'. but marvy the martian did give me a way to see a pic of this guy in question and i'm curious so i will be going home to check him out... if i remember...