this is where we've been and look where we're going

it's amazing how time flies. this blog has been home to my thoughts on dating and relationships for the last 4 over years. and it's grown to become a special and important part of my life which i hide from everyone else in my "real" life.

recently i've been reading through my past entries, looking back on where i've been, how far i've come and it's been an interesting walk down memory lane. some random guys i could hardly remember, others who i wondered what on earth came over me to be so smitten with them, and a few that back then took a shine to me.

but i suppose for the most part, there's no real loss. the guys themselves have moved on. most vanished completely from my life, a select few who i still "keep in touch" with (or at least i still could if either of us wanted to) as technically they are still on my IM or online social utility site friend list, and some others who i make a point to know what's going on in their lives even if they don't always know it (yes, i "stalk" haha!).

it was in mid-walk of this memory lane that i decided to try and hunt down past people that i "dated" randomly, basically the boys that i've mentioned here in the last 4 years. some of them i already pretty much knew where they were at now but others weren't on my friends list (and even after hunting them down, i still wasn't intending to add them) and i thought it would be interesting to try and see if i could even find any information on them.

and here are the results of my find:

dj guy - i may not have seen or talked to him in at least over a year and even back then he was already engaged. but from my own nosy sleuthing i know that he's since broken up with his fiancee and has a new girlfriend.

london guy friend - he's on my friends list which have led me to find out that his (i think) german girlfriend gave birth to their son in february. they got married a month later. seems like the wedding must have been quite a surprise to even his friends.

texas curly - based on our last email "communication" in january, he told me that he got married in april 2008. he's also since started a tailor shop making custom made suits. a lil research (it's not really considered snooping if he gave me his company name to begin with haha!) showed that he came in second place in a new entrepreneur of the year award and made me even more impressed. i also found him on the online social utility site and couldn't see much other than his profile pic of a fun picture with him and his gorgeous wife. did i mention that she's gorgeous? i thought for a very long time (and trust me, i really did) and in the end decided to add him to my friends list... and hope he never really wonders how on earth i found him online...

marvy's setup - i found him on the online social utility site and couldn't see much other than his profile pic. he's looking good though (to be fair, he always looked better in pictures than in real life) and also looks like he's happily attached / married. i'm not sure if she's the "love of his life" from china that he met right after he got set up with me.

(now ex) key account executive - i keep in touch with him on IM every now and then when he signs in. bout a couple of years ago he had a kid but is still continuing to battle marital woes.

the aussie podiatrist - i couldn't find him on the online social utility site and for some reason, i was determined enough to dig up something that i googled him. i didn't realise that he's been responsible for giving the expert's opinion on certain podiatry related press releases. i found out that his (now not so) new workplace is actually rather close to mine. there was also a picture of him. he's not looking as good as before... i think he's balding.

family friend's setup - i'm still in contact with the friend who set us up and very occasionally i drop an IM to say hey to my family friend's setup (in fact just after writing bout him, i dropped him another IM). but from our friend, i found out that he has a slightly on/off girlfriend. our friend doesn't even know what's going on. sometimes it's good, then it's off, then it's on again. apparently she's a great girl though.

the french banterer - i found him on the online social utility site and was surprised that we have 2 mutual friends (though i only really consider one of those girls my friends. i'm pretty sure he knows her through work.) i browsed through a few of his photos. somehow he looks different or maybe i just can't recognise him anymore. i'm unsure bout his relationship status though.

poet guy - i found him on the online social utility site and was surprised that we have a mutual friend... incidentally it was my uni classmate that i "dated" who since got married to our uni classmate. i couldn't see much other than his profile pic but he looks like he's happily attached / married.

chatty triathlete - i found him on the online social utility site, and as expected, we have a mutual friend in the form of my friend's (who was formerly based in dubai who subsequently became my colleague) husband. and as i heard, i saw evidence in photos that he got married in dec 2009, a year after he got together with her. he doesn't look too bad but i'm still definitely way cuter than her.

the serious one - not that he's important but i've been running into him recently near wherer i work in town. in any case, he's on my friend's list and it was there that i learnt that he's engaged. i think she works near my workplace.

drummer boy - the only one who i'm actually quite in touch with over IM. and well i already mentioned that he's thinking of getting married in 3-5 years time.

the swedish guy - the last time i saw him was in december 2009. that said, i do think bout him every now and then. he's on my friends list and ever so often i'd see a status update stating that he was off to another one of his short holidays. i still think that's the main reason why we didn't get more serious. he claimed that he was ready for a girlfriend, but his lifestyle showed otherwise.

i guess the main theme is that almost everyone that i "dated" in the last 4 years is now coupled up be it married, engaged or just attached. it's good to know that i didn't remain completely single either.

this has definitely been one very interesting nostalgic walk.

these could very well have been my very worst dates

recently i've been addicted to reading myveryworstdate.com where people get to share their worst date story be it the first date or a date occuring somewhere further down along the dating process.

while the stories were shocking, hilarious and essentially made me breathe a sigh of relief that for the most part, my dates were never that bad, it also did start me thinking about my own "horror" dating stories.

there was the poet guy and the first date where i was thankful that a movie spared us 2 hours of having to make smalltalk and where i actually exaggerated feeling under the weather to cut the date short simply 'coz i wasn't attracted to him at all and was fighting the urge to jump a mile away every time he made any light physical contact.

there was the touchy brit and the first date where he quizzed me on an array of topics, touched my arm, thigh, hand, neck within 5 mins of meeting him and was unnecessarily impatient with the service staff at the bar.

there was the annoying mouth-clicker and the first date where he kept on clicking his mouth in an annoying manner, implied that me pushing myself in my sport meant that i had something to prove to the world and where i was so bored and annoyed that i just bout chased him off to his next appointment with his student.

and of 'coz not forgetting prick04 and that particular valentine's day date (though not on the actual day itself) in 2004 which marked the original crash and burn that left me "scarred" sufficiently that it took me 6 months before i could even tell my best friend what happened. though of 'coz subsequently there was so much drama with him that it didn't even need actual dates for him to have been the worst person i've ever dated. ever.

so yes, dating is definitely hard and sometimes it seems like you meet a whole lot more frogs than potential princes. but in the end, i came out of all these bad dating situations pretty alright. and in some weird way i'm "glad" that it happened 'coz it just added to my dating "experience" and certainly did make for some interesting (and perhaps horrifying) stories.

besides, you gotta know the bad to appreciate the good right?

a dating 'process'

it has been a busy weekend...

on saturday i met up with shy (now ex) colleague. a few weeks ago he had just gotten back from a 2-week holiday in europe and i was eager to see his pictures and catch up with him. we had a really great time. despite our 6-year difference, we get along amazingly well. i think that if there wasn't such a large age difference and that we liked each other romantically, i would have definitely considered him.

yesterday i met up with poet guy. he came to meet me with 3 stalks of purple roses. it was quite a surprise. and admittedly a lil overwhelming. we've talked online quite a lot but somehow face to face we didn't quite hit it off. maybe 'coz i felt zero attraction for him and there just wasn't any chemistry. he wasn't eloquent (and that is rather important to me) and he wasn't attractive either. whenever he touched my arm lightly i would have this urge to jump a distance away. we watched a movie (which thankfully spared us 2 hours of having to make smalltalk) and had dinner. by 9pm i decided to use the excuse that i was under the weather the day before (well it's the truth) and said i wanted to head on home to rest early. i kinda feel bad... he seems like a nice guy... a lil overwhelming but a nice enough guy i guess... but i think we should just be online friends.

in other news the french banterer has booked me for 14 aug and invited me to a concert by a rather famous singer. i have a feeling it's sorta like my birthday treat from him.

the random guy from my friend's wedding has continued to text me everday. that would make it over a week since we first got to know each other. he asked me out to party on saturday night but i just wasn't feeling up to it. and he texted me later in the early morning to find out if i was hanging out somewhere else.

as for my family friend's setup, i kinda like him... but i think that if i'm gonna continue to do so, he really needs to step up his game and start impressing. i mean we go dutch. and if he drives me to work, i'll have to buy him lunch. i'm not materialistic but i don't view that as coming from a guy who is interested in a girl. which then leads me to think that perhaps he's just not interested. and that means i really need to reel back any feelings i have and move on. it's best for me.

bad dates, guys you're giving a chance even if you're not sure if there's a future, guys you're not even sure if you should give a chance to, guys you like but aren't sure if they like you back...

gosh dating can really be hard...

****

my not-so-platonic ex-friend came back online. and it really made me smile. it was so good to know that he came back to talk to me bout his bad day. i'm not sure if this means he'll be back again but it was nice to have him back even only for a while...

life has a funny way

sometimes life is funny... and i suddenly find myself on the receiving end of more male attention than i have had in years. and by that i mean the seemingly sincere kind...

the french banterer has been regularly contacting me with emails, texts and IMs, wanting to help me get movie tickets and even talked bout making future plans... for september...

poet guy, the one i met via online dating who said that he likes me, has also been IMing and texting me a fair bit. he has set up a email account to share some music files with me. bought me a gift during his recent business trip. volunteered to pick me up from work when i just happened to mention that i had a leg cramp even though his office is half a world away. he also expressed interest in wanting to celebrate my birthday next month. all this and we haven't even met yet! but besides some moments where i feel is a lil overwhelming, i'm actually starting to feel pretty comfy with him.

there's also some other guys that i've been talking to pretty regularly and getting along well with.

and then there's the random guy from my friend's wedding... since we met (and yes, made out), he's been texting me every day. he hasn't exactly asked me out constantly but is definitely checking in with me on a pretty regular basis and tells me that he finds me intriguing. it must be 'coz even though i do reply to his texts and ask some polite questions, i'm not particularly engaging. he's asked if he could call me tonight and i agreed. i reckon that should be okay right? i'm still not sure what to do bout this situation with him so i'm not gonna think bout it too much.

and after last night i've decided not to think too much bout my family friend's setup either.

we went to have dinner and watch a movie. i had an excellent time as usual. we can really get along and conversation just flows naturally. but in case anyone (including myself) gets too excited... it wasn't exactly a date. i mean we went dutch and that's usually a surefire sign that it's not a date right? and even though i'm pretty certain he likes my company, i'm not sure if he likes likes me. and 'coz i think i could actually like him, it is in my own self preservation interest that i really should close off my heart.

hopefully nice and normal and not psycho

please don't tell me i've got a potential stalker type on hand...

the guy i met via online dating who said that he likes me just sent me yet another email...

"i just want to be with you.
if i could hold your hand for the rest of my life,
i would never be scared again.
i want to hold you tight & i want to tell you every second how much you mean to me,
cause
no one has ever meant more.

i want to be able to help you & make you smile
just let me make you smile..

i believe in love & lust & sex & romance.
i don't want everything to add up to some perfect equation.
i want mess & chaos. i want someone to go crazy out of her mind for me.
i want to feel passion & heat & sweat & madness & all the rest of that crap. i want it all."

the thing is that he does seem nice and normal and not psycho but his emails are a lil too overwhelming. so i told him just that. he said that he probably won't send anymore emails. i'm hoping that's true. 'coz he does seem nice and normal and not psycho. so i'm gonna keep an eye on him and see what other vibes i get...

the overwhelming world of online dating

the online dating has still been a lil overwhelming. it feels like all i've been doing is chatting to new random guys. not that it's been all bad... but even while it's been kinda fun, it's also been rather tiring.

so the guy who told me that he likes me and wants to chase me just sent me an email...

"i really hope this works out. i've never had more faith in anyone. i've never had more hopes in anything...

the day i met you, my life changed.
the way you make me feel is too hard to explain.
you make me smile in a special kind of way. you make me fall deeper for you, everyday.
& when i look into your eyes, i know its true - theres no one else in the world for me but you."

the best part of all... i've never even met him!

****

in other news... i'm being reeled back in by the youngest one again...

friday night he tipsy texted and then called me at bout 2am. we had a nice chat. and then on saturday night we had a good IM chat. it was exactly like old times. though perhaps a lil flirtier especially when he 'propsed' to me to be a kept man and saying that he would cook, clean and pleasure. i joked that i should take him for a test run... on the cooking of 'coz... haha!